Bend over and take it?

I am irrationally angry lately. I blame this on unemployment.

This afternoon my dad and I went on a bike ride. Blue skies, sunny, high 70's, little breeze. We chugged up a hill that leads away from the beach on our one-gear cruiser bikes. At the top of the hill my dad stopped to press the button to stop traffic so we could cross Ocean Boulevard. The light turned green and I began pedaling across the street. On the opposite side of the street was a motorcyclist. The first few words from his mouth as I passed him were, hey you better watch it... I didn't hear the rest but could tell he was still talking and whatever he was saying was directed at my dad. Without delay I raised my right arm into the air and waved the middle finger at him yelling f*ck you at him.

As soon as my dad caught up I snarled at my dad. What was that guy's problem?!

I don't think he had a problem, my dad replied. Obviously he did, I practically spat. He told you to watch it. I should point out that this isn't the first time someone has honked at me and my dad or shaken their finger at us while passing us in their car as we glide down the street. My dad looked slightly uncomfortable as he said, yeah he told me to watch it because I had a beautiful lady on my tail.

That doesn't even make sense, I said. There wasn't anyone behind us.

I think he meant you, my dad said.

Last night I attempted to file my taxes on-line. Seeing the projected refund amount dwindle by $1000 when I added my second W-2 form into the equation quickly put me in a sour mood. Last year I paid $11,000 in federal taxes with the combined income from working at Aerospace Company X (March through December) and Restaurant C (January and February). Because I made such a little amount when I worked at Restaurant C, I was in a low tax bracket and only paid 10% of my income toward taxes. At Aerospace Company X my income was high enough to catapult me into the 25% tax bracket. That means I have to pay 15% of what I made the first two months of the year at Restaurant C to the government. That means a shitty, shitty tax return for someone who paid nearly $15,000 in taxes combined between state and federal income tax.

Daniel, who is getting 10 times the amount of what I'm getting back as a refund, is insistent I need to see an accountant (his accountant) before filing my taxes. Of course Daniel made more money than I did, paid more in taxes, owns his own house and a boat and has about a million other write-offs that maximize his return.

That's OK. Us single, childless, renters don't need our money. No, no, no! Please. Penalize me because I'm not married, don't have kids and don't have the money to buy a house. That's right! I don't deserve to get back as much money as someone that is married or has kids or owns a house. Thank you very much.

I am royally pissed off. I was depending on my income tax return to help me float a bit easier than I have been as of late. Every year since I've started working/paying taxes I've gotten a shitty ass return. I figured since I paid so much in taxes this year (and considering that when I worked overtime they took half of what I made toward taxes) that I would finally, finally see a decent tax return for once in my life.

Now I'm staring at my computer screen wondering if I should put the shitty ass return I'm supposed to be getting aside for next year's taxes. Or hope on a wing and a prayer that I find a job soon. So the government can continue to gouge me some more and take an enormous amount of my hard earned income for taxes.

These are the days when I don't feel guilty for living on unemployment. At least I'm finally benefitting from the thousands of dollars I've paid as a single, childless, renter in taxes over the years.