Perhaps because my money is so tightly allocated and the only thing even remotely close to entertainment that I spend money on is grocery shopping, my already strong taste for food has turned into somewhat of an obsession. I mentioned this to Daniel this past week when we were grocery shopping. I'm craving licorice, I said. Do you want us to get some? he asked. No. I shook my head. The only reason I'm craving licorice is because I know I can't waste my money on it. Though Daniel wouldn't mind wasting his money on something I really want.
Licorice is only the tip of the iceberg. When I had a job, it was rare that I would buy candy. I like candy. Love would be the better descriptor for my candy affection, actually. But because I had money, I could buy candy any time I wanted. If you think of the money I used to have and the food I used to want to eat in terms of supply and demand, it's pretty simple: demand for candy never seemed high because I could have it when I pleased. Now that I can't, the damn demand has shot straight through the roof. Daniel said the same thing happened to him when he was in the Navy. He doesn't even like sweets. He never eats them. But during boot camp, sweets were forbidden. Naturally, he began to crave sweets.
Aside from craving food that's a) generally not on sale b) has very little nutritional value for what I'd be paying if I did bite the bullet and buy it; I'm obsessed with buying food. Doesn't matter if I think I'll eat it. If it's on sale, I'll buy it. Case in point, I went to two grocery stores already today (and plan on walking to the third when I'm done writing). At Von's I picked up Oscar Meyer Weiners for $.99 - three packs of hot dogs. You would think the way I buy food in bulk when it's on sale that this is food that I eat all the time. Nope. Generally, I rarely eat hot dogs. My only rationality is this: some day I might be craving hot dogs. I do not want to go to the store and have to go without hot dogs because they are $3.99 or whatever the normal price is. On top of the three packages of Oscar Meyer Weiners I bought at Vons, I bought two packages of Johnsonville brats (because those suckers are expensive and I know this summer I'm going to want to be having myself some brats) and at Ralph's I picked up two packages of Hebrew National hotdogs (buy one get one free - in case I ever want to make chili dogs ... they are excellent when you want a great chili dog) and another package of Oscar Meyer Weiners (cheese filled $2.50 on sale). The amount of processed meat I bought was sickening. And completely unnecessary. Worse, I tend to do this every week. I lay out all three grocery store ads and map out what I want to get at each store. I buy so much food, I don't have enough time to eat it. On top of that, I'm at Daniel's most the time eating his food.
One of the perceived side effects of losing my job was losing weight. No money = no food. It's a simple equation really. Unfortunately thanks to my food obsession and Daniel's deep pockets, the scale is not budging. My weight hasn't really been a huge concern of mine anyway. Not until last night when Daniel and I were discussing the possibility of a Caribbean vacation in April. I casually said, if we go on vacation, I'd like to lose 10 pounds. Who doesn't want to lose weight when faced with a week of fun in the sun? With way too much enthusiasm he replied, I think you would look great if you lost 10 pounds! I narrowed my eyes into a glare and he quickly realized the huge gaffe he'd just made. I mean, he back pedaled, if you could possibly look any better than you already do, I imagine if you lost 10 pounds you would look even more amazing. Than you already do. Which is amazing. Did I mention that?
I wanted to tell him if he really wanted me to lose 10 pounds, perhaps he should stop feeding me steak, pork chops, macaroni and cheese and bacon and eggs.
Hmph.
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