Moving on and out

Yesterday my friend Katherine drove up from where she lives in Gilbert and helped me pack. We got through the entire kitchen which was a big looming monster in front of me -- something I was dreading sorting through. I have a lot of kitchen stuff, but with Katherine's motivation; we got through it. Daniel's kitchen actually looks morbidly empty with all of my stuff gone. But maybe that's the way he likes things.

It helped having someone else there because I have been packing and unpacking for so long, the thought of packing more stuff just depresses me. In four months I will have had four different addresses. (My magazine publishers are going to be so irritated with me.) I am a Nomad -- only not by choice and that kind of sucks, but what are you going to do. Move on.

My sister says to look at this like an adventure and in a way, it kind of is. I can take a job anywhere (if I can actually find a company that will hire me). The sky's the limit.

Trying not to get my hopes up here but Katherine (who works in sales and makes very nice living) says there's an opening for an assistant at her company. Basically secretarial sort of work, but she thinks A) I could do it and B) it would be getting my foot in the door and hopefully eventually get me into sales where I would hopefully make a very nice living as well.

I'm not opposed to staying in Arizona. OK, I'm slightly opposed. I came here because Daniel came here and I thought we would be together. Now that we're not, I don't want to be in the same state as him (nothing against him as a person and not that I'd ever run into him -- we would live way too far away for that.) But it feels like Arizona was supposed to be an "us" thing not a "me" thing. I had great plans for the things we were going to do together in Arizona. Now that I have to adjust my plans from "us/we" to "me," I'd rather take my "me" plans to another state and do them alone without the ghost of Daniel and our past relationship haunting me.

I don't even know if that makes sense? And maybe leaving the state is paramount to running away. But running away worked for me when I ran away to California. Or did it? Because look where I am now. Same spot I was at when I ran to California.

Ultimately where I end up and where I go will depend on the job I land. I'm crossing my fingers that I find one soon.